check out this beautiful selection of well designed cooking books

.: elBulli :.

come dine with me fallon - dinner date 5

Take a handful of willing timewasters.


Give them plenty to drink.

Woo them with your place. So much so that they would want to live there themselves. In fact, make one of them make you an offer you'd be challenged to refuse had you gotten drunk enough to consider it in the first place... (Look mum, no names!)

BUT !! Make sure you give them more to drink next time so they don't notice stuff like...

(Moldy old dessert stuff and expired condiment)

Then, hide your books, so that no one finds out who your biggest inspiration is.

And lets be honest here, after Delia's last appearance on telly, haven't we all burned her books? Of course not... but she was asking for it, wasn't she?

As it stands the crumpets were nice. Though, calling them mini pizzas was certainly misleading.

I blame Delia, not Isabelle. Let’s be clear on this here.

Next, we had more drinks. Got all merry and rather hungry. Found out that Sasha is no connoisseur but rather a very hungry youngish man. He insisted on eating our secret guest's crumpet (it must be said that our secret guest lives in a different time zone to the rest of us and only thought of getting ready to come to dinner party round 1:30AM. our secret guest was supposed to be rather special. and no, it was not supposed to be Brad dressed in drag. though, that certainly would've been special. maybe a bit predictable. but special non the less.)

Anyhow, the main was absolutely lovely. Delicious. Satisfying. Though it might have taken a little longer than 30min to cook. Again, I blame Jamie Oliver, not Isabelle. I think he highly underestimated how long it takes to cook certain things when you don't have 15 assistants chopping and cleaning and generally maintaining your sanity.

We then all retired to the living room to play some game that no one knew how to play and drink some more drinkies... waiting for the marvelous dessert to bake...

Okay, now, look at those pictures... what do you see? Have you noticed the concern? The microwave? But most importantly the effort?

Ahhh... the damn thing spilled and burned. And we couldn't rescue it. But by god we tried. Look at it, it looks so yummy.

Instead we had Green and Black's ice cream. With sparklers.

Isabelle's menu

come dine with me fallon - dinner date 4

(welcome to the devil's playground)

I'm sorry Luq, but I'm going to sum up all night based on that marvelous portrait of Clemens Schick by Nan Goldin. She's my personal favourite and you own an amazing print (even if that print lives inside a wardrobe).
First, I must point out that Luq has immaculate taste. and I mean immaculate - it's spread across everything - from perfectly aligned books (Luq admitted to book shopping with a ruler) to matching pictures and themes for each room.
(that little kid on a tricycle is baby Luq)
We were treated to an African dinner in Africa themed room.
But first, there were cocktails!
Followed by a lovely starter.
Main.
And dessert!
(Brad wasn't part of dessert)
Then Sasha arrived! Slightly late, but I guess, it's better late then never. If Luq was cross, he didn't show - a truly perfect host! Sasha went through every pot and stuck his spoon into every dish.
Here I must point out that while Luq hides his love for Nan or Clemens, he has no qualms about hiding his weed pot.
(it's right outside his kitchen window)
The night finished with us chatting about life, work and vino.

"A lot of people seem to think that art or photography is about the way things look, or the surface of things. That's not what it's about for me. It's really about relationships and feelings...it's really hard for me to do commercial work because people kind of want me to do a Nan Goldin. They don't understand that it's not about a style or a look or a setup. It's about emotional obsession and empathy." - Nan Goldin.

Luq's menu

come dine with me fallon - dinner date 3

(how to make friends and alienate people)


First - pick a venue - but not just any venue.
Your house. Your stately house in the middle of snowy London.
Get doors to open automatically upon arrival.
Get your butler/concierge to greet you and point you into the right direction.
Make people feel special.
Very special. Just not in a 'special needs' way.

Basically make me go - "where is this place?"
Sasha go - "maybe here"
Me - "no way anyone lives in this house!"
Then walk around for 5min, freeze all bollocks and call Chris to check on the venue.
Yeah, way.

Basically, Chris is the Major of Rosebery Avenue.
Trust me, I know what I'm talking about.
Check out the photos (the first one is Google search picture. see what I'm talking about! I think art buying is totally overpayed.)
This is the door and what/who we found right behind that impressive door (or rather - doors).
After we got meeted and greeted (yes, I know my grammer - but I like the sound of 'meeted') by Chris's butler - we were summouned in the living room and introduced to snacks - deep fried rice balls and Russian mules.
Then there were starters.
And the main course!
(note: Isabelle is not frowning. This is her talking face. She's a serious person who tells seriosu stories. This is her telling one of those seriosu stories. Did you know she's been on two blind dates? Both had ABSOLUTELY nothing to do with online dating.)

We also had lovely desserts - chocolate brownies with strawberry sauce and the most amazing dessert wine (check Chris's menu for the name!)
(note: yes, Sasha is licking his plate. I think he might have even had second helpings.)
But all that did not satisfy Sasha's appetite as he just had to have extra desserts in the form of 20p candy (yes, if you go to Chris's mantion house - you have to pay for candy.)
It was all a laugh and a half. We drank, we talked, we laughed.
Then we were escorted out.
Thanks, Major Chris!

sincerely yours,
Oksana

Chris's menu